Dad jokes

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Sun Jul 31, 2022 11:46 pm

Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes in their ships?
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian

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BacoNoir
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by BacoNoir » Mon Aug 01, 2022 3:52 pm

A papa mole poked his head up out of the mole’s hole, sniffed and said yum I smell bacon and eggs...the momma mole poked her head up out of the hole and said yum, I smell pancakes and syrup. Baby mole tried and tried to get up the hole and he would just slide back down and he's try again..he got a little upset and said well all I smell is molasses.
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BacoNoir
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by BacoNoir » Mon Aug 08, 2022 7:24 am

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Tue Sep 06, 2022 7:13 pm

My neighbour embarrassed me
He said I noticed you weed your plants

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Mon Sep 26, 2022 2:20 pm

Just back from the kleptomania championships i rook gold silver and bronze
Some say I stole the show

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Wed Oct 19, 2022 10:38 pm

What’s the best time on a clock?
6.30, hands down

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Thu Jan 05, 2023 12:50 pm

My boss asked me why I was only only sick on work days.
I said it must be my weekend immune system.

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Wed Jan 18, 2023 12:59 pm

I told my friend I liked Beyoncé…He said whatever floats your boat. I said, “no, that’s buoyancy.”

I sent my hearing aids in for repair three weeks ago, and I haven't heard anything since...

I accidentally took my cats medicine last night, don't ask meow...

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Sun Jan 22, 2023 12:41 pm

Why was Hans Solo not enjoying his steak?
It was Chewie

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DMB
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by DMB » Sun Jan 22, 2023 1:59 pm

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Thu Feb 16, 2023 3:31 pm

My dog will chase a stick for 100 miles
Which seems a little far fetched ….

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Thu Feb 16, 2023 3:32 pm

What’s the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist ?
One looks up the family tree the other the family bush

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DoctorC
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by DoctorC » Thu Feb 16, 2023 3:48 pm

amckiwi wrote:
Thu Feb 16, 2023 3:32 pm
What’s the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist ?
One looks up the family tree the other the family bush
That reminds me of my old jeweler.
He was a Jewish rabbi who also was a Mohel,performing most of the bris (ritual circumcisions) in the area.
After the bris, he would pass out his card for his jewelry shop.
It said.

Now lest us take care of the rest of your family jewels.
🤣
Greg

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amckiwi
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Re: Dad jokes

Post by amckiwi » Wed Apr 19, 2023 1:48 am

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

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